Cats are complex animals that obey their own rules by making clear to people a very simple principle: it’s not them who live with you, it’s you who lives with them (and especially in their home ). However, if these funny little beasts were to become humans, there are a ton of traits that would make them absolutely horrible and insufferable humans that we suggest you watch right away. Be careful, chances are you won’t see your cat the same way after this top.
They would never respond to our messages
Generally, cats only give us attention when it suits them, so as soon as we try to talk to them, we get some big wins. If it wasn’t cats who invented the principle of ghosts, I don’t know who was.
They would only come to visit us when they have the plate
As soon as they would have no more to eat, they would come back to help themselves to our refrigerator and eat all our precious provisions, so without asking and even less with the intention of repaying us. Real shit.
They would fuck us for no reason
While we are talking to them or reading quietly in our corner, they would suddenly come to bully us for no reason and stab us in the face.
They would steal our place all the time when we are absent for two seconds
Or worse, they would sit on top of us without asking if we mind. There is nothing worse mannered and self centered than a cat, you get up to make yourself a tea or go to the bathroom and in less than twenty seconds he has stolen your place and pretends to be sleeping as soundly as if felt like four days.
They wouldn’t mind peeing with the door open while we eat lunch
Whether it’s the small commission or the big commission, they would literally not care if we were in the room eating quietly or talking to other people, they would allow themselves to let go of their infamous stuff without pressure.
They would make themselves throw up in public, quietly
In the subway, in the middle of the street, during a concert, in the cinema… Suddenly they could drop a wreath on the ground before quietly resuming their journey without looking like anything. Obviously it’s up to someone else to clean up, it’s not like they’re doing it.
We would find them sleeping on our bed and they wouldn’t move
You come home from the evening or from work to find one sleeping peacefully in your place in your bed, and no matter how much you try to move it, it pretends to be sleeping soundly to force you to take the couch.
They would fit in the bathroom when you bathe
Or on the toilet when you do your business. Cats do not value the principle of intimacy, at least not ours, and they would certainly allow themselves to come and visit us only to annoy us at times when we generally prefer to be quiet.
They wanted everyone to think they were cool while acting like shit
When friends or family met them they wouldn’t stop saying how good people they are as they act like shit when we are alone with them. The most poisonous creatures in the world.
They would try to pay back the money they owe us with dead pigeons or dead mice
And not only would it be normal for them, but they would also make it clear to us that we should consider ourselves lucky because what they give us is worth so much more than the money they owe us.
While you’re waiting for them to become human, which I don’t wish for us, go see the signs you’re in a toxic relationship with your cat, get help.