The title is a bit provocative. “Why I chose to have a dog (and not a child)” is the latest book by Hélène Gateau. This vet’s career has taken her to television sets, radio studios and writing. I don’t think she advises against having children, on the contrary. This book is simply a reflection, a testimony to his choice of life. (First published 16.11.2023)
Hélène Gateau already has five works to her credit. Why I chose to get a dog (and not a child)published by Albin Michel in September 2023, is his latest and is getting a lot of attention.
Hélène’s story does not end with: “They lived happily and had many children”. His personal story makes Colonel, a Border Terrier, an integral part of the family. A family where there are no children. So what is the nature of the bond that can be built with a pet? What if he came to replace a child? Reply with Hélène Gateau.
Hélène is originally from Picardy, she grew up in Chauny, where her parents still live. Now she is Parisian, she never wanted to have children and she accepts it. So why write a book? “Because it’s a feeling I’ve never shared, not having children has always been a non-issue for me.”
Today in France, according to a 2022 survey, almost 30% of women of childbearing age do not want to have children. And 6% of men didn’t want it either. To which Hélène replies: “When we are 20, we can change our minds in a natural way. It is arriving at the age when family members and friends around us start to become parents that we can still ask ourselves questions and change our minds.
“On the other hand, when we reach the end of our fertile life, the choice does not change, and it is rather 5% of women who will have chosen not to have children. You see, between 30 and 5%, with age shift, the number has dropped significantly“. A life choice which she does not want to impose, but which she suggests for us.
It is simply his testimony and no, it is not selfishness as it does not affect anyone else! She also, and above all, reveals to us the close relationship between her and her dog colonel, a beautiful Border Terrier who will be 6 years old on December 27th. By coincidence or coincidence, Hélène was also born in December, they were made to live together.
“This is a dog breed that I have always been passionate about. (the border terrier was the subject of his thesis at veterinary school). I love their character, they are rustic, mischievous, bold dogs, quite intelligent but also stubborn. What I like about Colonel is that he has character, responsiveness, he is neither too hard nor too soft.”
It is true that when you do not have children at my age, many must say that I am a foreign woman, an alien. So imagine what they might say when they see my relationship with the Colonel!
As she explains on the show Women’s tops, it was the relationship with her dog that allowed her to discover “motherly” bonds. This very strong bond means that she behaves with him like a mother with her child. She protects him, takes care of him, makes sure he’s happy…
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Marie Sicaud receives Hélène Gateau, a vet like no other
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©France Télévisions
>>> Click on the image to see or rewatch the show with Hélène Gateau
His book is enriched with scientific and sociological references, to understand this very special bond with our pets, which many feel but dare not express!
“It is true that when you do not have children at my age, many must say that I am a foreign woman, an alien. So imagine what they might say when they see my relationship with the Colonel!“
52% of French households have a pet (“fart” English). Some, like Hélène, are “pet parents”, there are currently 14.9 million cats and 7.6 million dogs in France. So what do we know about the relationship we have (emotional bond, lifestyle habits) with our animals? Can we go so far as to talk about a parental bond?
Since the Colonel came into her life, Hélène has fully embraced being a “dogmum”, a dog mother. In her immediate family, she was never judged or questioned about her life choices: “My sisters have children, my parents are therefore grandparents, it is more in the distant family that there are questions, also with those around me, especially since I have a motherly attitude towards the colonel. Some tell me: ” See, you would make a great mother. »“ (laughs).
You have to read her book to understand that Hélène is not saying that a dog and a child are the same. Far from it, a dog remains an animal, and if a woman who does not want children always needs to justify herself today, Hélène is happy, content and calm about her choice of life. This is what she wants to share in her work.
If there is anyone who understood it well, it was his best friend, Matthieu, a vet like Hélène. They have known each other since their preparation for veterinary school. In the show Women’s topsit testifies: “It’s a choice that’s personal, but always a little surprising at first. She expressed early on that she did not have this personal projection (having a child) in her life. I didn’t understand, because for me it’s the opposite. Becoming a parent was truly the meaning of life. JI was lucky enough to have twins, I took on a good, double dose of responsibility.“
The first years were a bit complicated, and that’s when Matthieu understood: “I can hear now that people do not feel the commitment or the will to carry these duties and prefer to have a life that is just as fulfilling but oriented towards other projects.“
Thanks to his own experience, Matthieu has a completely different view of Hélène: “It’s a completely accepted choice on her part, she finds real satisfaction in this life today, it’s just different life patterns, different family patterns.”
Why I chose to get a dog (and not a child) was translated into Italian this spring: “I always get testimonials from readers thanking me, so that’s pretty nice. My book will have had a lovely life. And for your information, the colonel is in good shape !”
Hélène Gateau’s book is funny, intimate, spicy. It is filled with love and happiness, but above all, it reminds us that every life choice is unique and that we simply have to respect it. And definitely don’t tell her she’s a “dog mom”!
